S.A.G. and Equity means you have to pay me. Bummer for you.

S.A.G. and Equity (if I reinstate and pay my dues) actress. All it takes is a wig, dime store make-up, an outfit from GoodWill, an outline or script, and I can transform into almost any archetype over 40. Forget the script, I’ll write it, on my feet– my most valuable asset. I don’t mean that my feet are my most valuable asset, although I have two of them which is more than many people can say.

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Speaking of feet, where are you going? Do you know? I offer life-coaching for those who are on the right track already and don’t need advice. Those who are lucky enough to have everything they have ever dreamed of, and more. Those who need me just to attest to the fact that they are perfect. Yes. You can never have enough yes-men/women. And I offer sliding scale.

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Mid-life wrinkles, slight bloating and a few age spots only add to my extraordinary range as I prepare myself for a career jump-start as a ____________.  

Laurel sings “Let’s Misbehave” in a dumpy bar in Providence.

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providence journal